All about giving
Give and Take by Adam Grant
I’m reading Give and Take by Adam Grant, a New York Times bestseller that explores why helping others drives our success. Described one of Fortune’s must-read business books, it is not a book about yoga in a direct sense. Still, many of its research-based findings and behavioral science observations from the business world and beyond resonate with me as a yoga teacher, a professional, and simply a human. I’ve never thought of myself as particularly altruistic. I do things that hopefully bring some good to others but also make me feel good - and, as Grant shows, that’s not a bad thing. In fact, it may be the best way to give.
The book distinguishes between different modes of behavior in our interactions: giver, taker, and matcher. As individuals, we have a predominant side but are capable of all three types of behavior depending on a situation and the way other people around us behave. For givers, the greatest source of motivation comes from a sense of service. However, many selfless givers suffer from burnout when they entirely prioritize the needs of others over their own or give out of a sense of obligation rather than a place of joy. Grant talks about a more sustainable, and because of that ultimately more impactful, form of altruism: “otherish giving.” It means creating opportunities for giving that also are personally rewarding, finding ways to improve your own well-being by giving in a new way. Teaching yoga has become that for me.
When I started teaching, I discovered how much satisfaction it can bring to inspire someone through yoga, help them lessen stress and increase physical fitness, and open them to new possibilities of multi-faceted growth. I’m in the business of changing lives, not teaching classes. This amazing feeling - sometimes called warm glow of giving or helper’s high - delivers a sense of purpose, energizes me to keep on learning to be an ever-better teacher, and motivates to deepen my own practice to share my authentic experience. This quote in particular may as well be talking about yoga: “Givers accrue an advantage in controlling their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Over time, giving may build willpower like weight lifting builds muscles.”
Have you found your “otherish” way to give yet? If not, rethink how you’re giving now. If it’s all about donating money, think about volunteering your time. If you feel like your giving hasn’t had much impact, find a new cause to support that you can feel passionate about. And don’t just think of giving in your personal life - promote giving by paying it forward in your workplace whenever and in whatever ways possible. Find the type of giving that also makes you feel good and enriches your life.